Thwarted and InformedThe plumber and I can’t seem to get synchronized. His people called the wrong number. He came here, but without the right tools. He came back, but I was at Target and forgot to leave the key in the lockbox. I came back, but now he’s getting […] Continue Reading…
To Whom It May ConcernI just want to say that, if you’re one of my MySpace friends or you’ve recently sent me a message on MySpace, and it seems like I’m totally ignoring you, I’m not. I’m just too old and slow to figure out how to work MySpace, […] Continue Reading…
The Ren TestWe went to the Renaissance Festival on Saturday, like dummies, in the hot sun. I thought, at one point, that I might die of low blood sugar and dehydration. And yet we all had fun, I think. As our friend Richard explained it, “All these women are […] Continue Reading…
Today was See an Endocrinologist Day.(This entry is also titled WARNING: TOO MUCH INFORMATION. Squeamish people, flee.)Last time I was in the mood to yammer about my health and lady parts, I hinted to you guys that I have two periods per month, every month. (Twice the PMS = […] Continue Reading…
Go see.My friend Rose and her friend Olive got invited to blog for Nerve.com. You have to register to see it, I think, but it’s worth it, so go. The first entry is only a little bit Not Safe for Work.Rose took the picture that I’ll be using for […] Continue Reading…
Dear Fellow Flickr Users1. Please use tags responsibly. Tags are used to label subject matter and assist Flickr users in searches. When I want to type the word bunny into the search box, for instance, I expect to find thousands of pictures of cute bunnies. I do not expect […] Continue Reading…
The status is static, General.Every time people ask me, “So what’s going on with you?” my answer is, “Nothing.” Because there is nothing to speak of. Look:I like my house very much but don’t get to spend enough time in it (just like everyone else in Suburban America).I’m either […] Continue Reading…
I am Susannah Sugarbaker.I just mean that lately I’m so fat and old and past the glory days when I won prizes for throwing an on-fire baton into the air, on stage at the Miss Peach Cobbler pageant.And yet I still get as dramatic and hysterical as a young, […] Continue Reading…
Hell no.Jeffrey should have been kicked off of Project Runway when he made that shit sack of a dress for Angela’s mom.Jeffrey should not have won for his Hot Topic skull shirt and the tapered leather pants that made him look like a potato on stilts.Jeffrey should not have […] Continue Reading…
Nothing GlamorousWent home sick at noon today. Sick again, sick again. I think it has something to do with the fact that I won’t stop freaking bleeding.Sorry. I usually try to think up a non-cliched euphemism for the bleeding, so as not to gross out the mens in the […] Continue Reading…
