Today was See an Endocrinologist Day.
(This entry is also titled WARNING: TOO MUCH INFORMATION. Squeamish people, flee.)
Last time I was in the mood to yammer about my health and lady parts, I hinted to you guys that I have two periods per month, every month. (Twice the PMS = twice the fun!) And y’all gave me good advice, suggestions, doctors’ names, and possible diagnoses.
Well, today I finally went to see the endocrinologist I’d been waiting to see. He said, right off the bat, that double periods are caused by four things: Menopause, too much prolactin (breastmilk-making hormone), jacked-up thyroid, or some other thing that I can’t remember. Back when I last talked about this, I was thinking it was PolyCystic Ovary Syndrome. Then, I was thinking hypothyroid.
Right off the bat, while interviewing and examining me, he ruled out hypothyroid. He ruled out prolactin overage, too. Then, he said twice during the exam, “That’s a sign of early menopause.” So it’s probably that or the other thing. They took blood, of course. I have to go home tonight and chart my temperature and bloodflow for a month, then go back and see what’s up. The temperature charting will tell us if I have estrogen running all month, or estrogen plus progesterone. I can’t remember which will mean what.
He asked if anyone in my family had early menopause. I explained, “Well, everybody in my family was too poor for regular check-ups, and there aren’t many women in my family, and I’m the only one with a uterus, seeing as how the charity hospitals like to do hysterectomies, so I have no idea.” He said he understood.
I’m still not convinced, though, because I never have hot flashes. I’m always freezing to death, instead.
Funny but gross:
When they told me to take off my clothes for the exam, I took off everything but my socks. When they examined me, the doctor had to pull off my sock and look at my foot. I asked why. He said, “I’m checking for hair on your toes.” (Symptom of too much testosterone.) (No jokes about me being a man, please.)
I said, “Well, I’m glad I asked, then, because I do grow hair on my toes, but I shave them, so you can’t see it.”
He said, “I saw the stubble. That’s a big part of my job – checking for stubble.”
Ha.
I’m just glad I don’t have hair on my knuckles. (Yet?) He checked for that, too, but I don’t shave my knuckles.
Well, anyhow. There it is. We’ll see what happens. Normally I don’t get into talking about my health here, but for stuff like this, I think it’s good for people on teh Internets to share as much helpful information as possible. Especially since, if it does turn out to be early menopause, that’s something women my age usually don’t suspect. However, my doctor told me today that one of his menopausal patients is sixteen years old. Aw.
Otherwise, I guess it’ll be the other thing, the name of which I forgot.
I’m excited about doing my little temperature chart. My friend Julio facetiously suggested that I scan it and post it on the blog. He was kidding, but I might just do that. I sure as hell just might.
