You can’t tell by looking at me, but
I’m going to change my life. The process has already begun.
When I was a teenager, I used to say that I wanted to do this or that… that I was planning to do this and that… but then I never did. The reasons why don’t matter now. But people came to think of me as the person who talked a lot of smack about things she was never going to do. (Do you know people like that? Yes, you do.)
Since then, I’ve changed. I think everyone knows, now, that if I say I’m going to do something, you can count on that shit getting done, with 95% certainty, barring unforeseen circumstances outside my control (that I can’t sway with prayers and voodoo ceremonies.)
Lately I’ve realized that the only thing that’s been holding me back is me, and my manufactured phantoms. I have two or three head-voices remaining that say – not “You can’t do it,” but – “Why are you doing that if it’s not going to make you any money? It’s selfish to do things that won’t make you money. That makes you a bad mom.”
But I’ve decided not to listen to those voices, either, anymore. So… my life will change. In fact, it’s already changing. And feeling that makes me happy.
Either that, or this is just the manic upswing of an as-yet-undiagnosed bipolar disorder.
But I don’t think so. No, I think I’ve finally gotten on the right track to having a happy life. Watch and see, then copy me if it works out. And, PS, I am a good mom. Even if I never do get rich.
In semi-related news: I want to have a million web sites, like some of my friends do. But a million web sites take time. But still, I want them. So we’ll see. If I can make the time, I will, and hopefully the results will be enjoyable for us all.
