Me and Santino
Last night I dreamed that Santino and Daniel V. (these are Project Runway contestants) had a secret romance going on. I saw them making out on the floor of the basement of their workroom. I don’t know if this happened on the show, in my dream, or if I saw it because I was in New York.
Either way, then I dreamed that Santino and I opened an art gallery together. We were working to fill it with our own work. I was very excited, partially because I had some really good, big pieces in progress, and partially because some guy (Nick, maybe?) showed up offering to be my assistant, reminding me of past awesome visual sculptures and stuff I’d done. (I’ve never done any in real life, though.) Then, some lady showed up with a bunch of Mexican pastries and candy that Santino and I tasted because we were considering stocking it in our gallery snackbar.
This dream was about the fact that I’ve been missing doing art and eating sweets. I was enjoying myself until my assistant and I had to visit a class for poor, disadvantaged children. I told myself, “Don’t get too involved with these brats, because they’ll just take you away from your art.” But then I did get involved, because they desperately needed discipline and education. They were smoking and watching TV in class.
That seems like it might be about my kids taking me away from my art, but I don’t think so, because my kids aren’t such a pain in the ass. It’s more about the stupid responsibilities I have to spend time on every single day. I feel good about myself when I get stuff taken care of, but it takes time away from the stuff I wish I could *really* do.
Regarding last night’s episode of Project Runway: Even though I’ve been saying all along that Daniel’s collection wasn’t all that, I felt sorry to see Tim impart that to him, and call his purses crafty and woodshoppy. It’s not even that Daniel’s stuff is bad – it’s just very subtle for the times. People are all depressed about inflation right now. They want to wear something flashier to cheer themselves up and avoid reality.
Also, I’ve been wanting to tell y’all that someone on Television Without Pity’s PR forum said that Daniel’s stuff looks like Spiegel. I wanted to add that Santino’s stuff, therefore, looks like Arden B. (But I never comment on their forum because I forgot my password, and I’m too embarrassed to bring it up, seeing as how I used to write for them and all.)
One last thing: I know a lot of people hate Santino, and for a few moments at the beginning, I hated his rudeness, too. But I have to admit that, way back during the Lingerie Challenge, when he told the makeup artist, “I want them to look like deer,” I irrevocably loved him as an artist. And whenever I see his Bavarian deer models in the rerun of that ep, it reinforces that love. Because he did not give a DAMN, y’all.
The Not-So-Bad Things About Getting Older
1. A lot of people don’t remember or appreciate the music of your childhood, but it’s okay because that makes it more of a secret pleasure for you, then, and we all know that pleasures are more pleasureable when they’re secret.
2. You drive more safely without caring what dumb kids in Camaros think of you. And that’s better, because it keeps you from dying as much.
3. In general, whether driving or not, you care less about what dumb kids think of you. Screw them if they don’t like it. You are old and you make more money, and you remember electric guitars and they don’t.
One Very Bad Thing That Starts in Your Thirties, That No One Will Tell You Directly (Except Me)
Your digestive system starts falling apart. Bit by bit, part by part. And you find that you can’t eat the foods that you used to think nothing of eating.
For instance, I ate a chopped baker yesterday, and realized last night that, instead of going to Mexico this summer, I should have my gall bladder removed, instead.
