Lost Weekend
Right now I’m avoiding doing some work that I should do. (Revising a book proposal.)
We ran around like maniacs this weekend but did nothing we were supposed to do. I was supposed to:
1. Inaugurate the weed-eater.
2. Seal the grout.
3. Get my car inspected.
4. Revise a book proposal.
Instead, we:
1. Bought a bed.
2. Went to a mall we never went to before.
3. Spent a night in Cathy’s guest room.
4. Did that thing we so often do where we stand in line at a Midtown club and wait for the high privilege of being let into said club by God, oops I mean the door guy.
Those are in reverse order. Also, I’m very tired of the club thing. This time the girls and my bf got in, but not the jillions of men with us. (Too many men can’t get in. One pair of tennis shoes can’t get in. Too many non-white people can’t get in. Too few implants can’t get in.) So we couldn’t stay. Which was annoying because, for once, the music was good.
I don’t think I’m too old for clubs. I think I’m too annoyed by the Midtown bullshit. Fuck you, Midtown. You aren’t anything. I wish my friends wouldn’t want to keep going there all the time. I wish we could go back to Main Street, or the Montrose, or even to somewhere new.
I’ll probably get up in a second and leave town early. Sometimes I like to do things early because I’m an impatient person. I’d rather drive to Austin two hours early and sit in my car there reading a book, than run around like a chicken with no head until the last minute, then drive like a maniac, then get there just in time to spin around and drive back again.
I feel guilty when I don’t do the things I was supposed to do. Hence, I end up feeling guilty each weekend that I don’t have my kids. (Kids are good for making you feel responsible and able, I notice.)
Also, it sucks when I put aside my duties in order to have a little fun, and the fun we choose ends up being disappointing and/or exhausting, instead. I need to make different fun choices, apparently.
Really, I feel like I need a vacation. I’ve spent all my free days moving, unpacking, dealing with the new schools, and doing extra work. And standing in line in Midtown for no reason.
I’m tired. I want to rest.
