All My Vitamin D Comes from Coffee
Back 13 or 14 years ago, when I lactated for the first time, I decided to stop drinking milk. It seemed illogical to me, suddenly, that a grown mammal who is not a cow would drink breastmilk meant for baby cows. Why not sell gallons of human breastmilk in the grocery stores, I wondered. That would be no less ridiculous.
I still eat cheese and yogurt, but that’s different. Meaning, that’s hypocrisy. I admit it. I provide no explanation.
Lately, however, I’ve been drinking lots and lots of lattes. Or else I’ll drink coffee with enough half & half to turn it a very pale beige. And I’m wondering if maybe this is my body’s way of crying out for milk. “We’ll get her to think she needs caffeine,” my organs say. “Then, we’ll get whole milk and/or half & half! Then, all our base will be belong to us!!!”
I would just take calcium supplements, but those cause kidney stones, you know.
