Making Lemons into Angry, Sugar-Free Lemonade
You know, while I’m openly in a bad mood, I may as well post a few things that I’ve been wanting to post, but haven’t because I didn’t want posting those things to put me in a bad mood. It’ll be cathartic, maybe. Okay! Let’s go!
1. Abortion rights aren’t about giving women permission to have abortions. They’re about making abortions-with-aenesthesia legal. Women have been aborting unwanted fetuses since human beings came into existence, with and without the help of doctors. If we were birds, then women who got pregnant without wanting to could just abandon their eggs, and people who were so worried about fertilized eggs going to waste could go sit on them themselves. But we’re not birds. So stop worrying about eggs you can’t even see, and mind your own business.
2. I don’t understand why anti-abortionists think that teenagers aren’t old enough to make decisions about abortion on their own… and yet they apparently think that teenagers are old enough to be mothers whether they want to or not. I don’t get it. As a society, we can’t even get fathers to pay child support, and yet we might get a Supreme Court judge who thinks women should be forced to get their husband’s permission not to give birth. What the hell? Someone’s joking, right?
3. What is with conservative women blaming feminists for all crappy heterosexual relationships lately? Hey, non-feminists, if you’re so smart, why aren’t you in hog heaven right now? If you’re not a feminist and you believe that feminists have scared all the men away, why don’t you run out into the middle of the street and scream, “Hello, men of my town! I am NOT a feminist! Come and love me! Buy me a big diamond ring and support me financially!”? Shouldn’t that make all the men in the world flock to you like flies to shit? Wouldn’t you then have your pick of all the awesomely manly men you could pray for? Why aren’t you doing that, then, instead of sitting at your desk, bitterly blogging about how feminism has ruined life as we know it?
4. If you believe that Christianity is the only way to live, please keep it to yourself. Don’t tell me about it at work, don’t send me emails about it, and don’t try to insert your Bible-based beliefs into my children’s textbooks. And don’t call my apartment at night and tell me to vote on propositions that discriminate against homosexuals, either. I don’t try to force my religion on you, so what makes you think I even want to hear about yours? Shut it. No more. I’m not going to tolerate your rudeness anymore.
5. Finally, if you are one of those miserable people who, instead of keeping his/her misery properly bottled and boiling, takes out his/her misery on others, please go kill yourself. Seriously. Take it outside. Quit making the world a crappier place. I’m sorry that you feel bad about yourself, but that doesn’t mean I deserve to listen to you trying to make me feel bad about myself. Just go drive off a bridge or something. Or, you know, try examining your miserable life and taking steps to improve it… If you feel up to the extra effort, I mean.
You know what? I do feel a little better now. Okay. Back to your regularly scheduled, non-angry blogging.
