I figured it out.
I only want to sleep with men who are in love with me.
And, while we’re on the subject of what I want…
I want to have my nails and eyebrows done every week. My hair done every four weeks. I want new clothes every time I see […] Continue Reading…
Pass That Dutch
Is it wrong that I think about Missy Elliot at least an hour per week? I can’t help it. She’s a bad ass. I used to think “Work It” was the best thing she’d ever do. But then she did “Pass That Dutch”.
The beat. The driving, […] Continue Reading…
Squicked Out
My stomach feels weak.
Last night I got a graphic explanation of a sex toy I never would have, could have, or needed to figure out on my own. This afternoon, the cat’s deworming medication finally (literally) showed results.
I ate bad food. I drank bad drinks. My stomach’s feeling […] Continue Reading…
fish in the sea, frogs to be kissed, carnival atmosphere
Last night we went out. I’m charged to say, when mentioning dancing with Jennifer, that she danced with a Long Island Iced Tea in her hand – not a screwdriver.
The club was fun – full of danceable music and amiable […] Continue Reading…
So, anyway…
Sometimes I entertain suspicions that I’ve unwittingly made a deal with God. Or with a god. Or with the devil. (Can he intercept your prayers? Maybe.) I think I’ve unwittingly forfeited any good thing that might occur in my life besides the success of my writing career. And […] Continue Reading…
More Good Advice
If a new male acquaintance ever says to you, “I don’t want to be your boyfriend. But I do hope to sleep with you some time in the future,” then don’t waste your time trying to explain to him why his words are uncouth, unflattering, or unwise.
Just […] Continue Reading…
Wanna Fanta? Doncha wanna?
I hate to admit this, but I love the Fantanas. If I could get 12-inch fashion dolls of all four of them, I would. I’m especially chagrined that, on their web site, the low-res pics make them look like drag queens. But, then again, if they […] Continue Reading…
If you want to stop me in my tracks…
You know how, on South Park, Eric Cartman can’t hear the opening line of Styx’s “Come Sail Away” without being compelled to hear the whole thing – even if he has to sing it himself?
That’s me with two certain movies. If […] Continue Reading…
Lunchtime
At my desk, I eat brocolli with my hands. Each piece is an enormous tiny tree. I slowly pull its branches. I eat their leaves. I toss the trunks back into the styrofoam box. They make soft thunking sounds. Throwing food makes me feel rich, even if I’m only […] Continue Reading…
Fabulous Weekend
I’ve been looking for a purse and a new pair of work shoes for weeks. Friday night I went to the Foley’s very special “Once in a Lifetime Sale” (you know – the one they have every month) and found a very cute red Amanda Smith bag for […] Continue Reading…
