This is what I am.On the outside, I’m like an apple. A plain, average, red apple. Not all shiny with wax, but not all bruised up, either.If you were to bite into that apple, however, you would taste the most unbelievably sweet, firm, juicy flesh. That flesh would belie […] Continue Reading…
I like to have things.Okay, so I’m not actually trying to do the 50 Book Thing that everyone else is doing this year, but I am trying to read more. And, after several literary masterpieces, I’ve decided to cleanse my palate with some good ol’fashioned exploits from Ayla and […] Continue Reading…
Emails to People Without Voices or FacesI finally broke down and wrote an email to Hotmail’s customer service page asking if they were engaged in a conspiracy to get every single Hotmail user to switch to Gmail. It seems more and more plausible to me each day that this […] Continue Reading…
The First Twenty ThingsHere are the first twenty things I’d do if I won $150 million dollars in the lottery.1. Go shopping. Of course I would go to the Galleria, Houston’s ritziest mall, and buy whatever caught my eye. But I couldn’t tell you what any of that stuff […] Continue Reading…
MetaphorsLeft-wingers complaining about right-wing underhandedness and hyprocrisy (such as this Jeff Gannon: Male Prostitute and White House Correspondent business) are like the Baudelaire orphans in their Series of Unfortunate Events.”Please listen, Mr. Public,” they plead. “Count Rightwinglaf is evil! He’ll stop at nothing to steal our inheritance!””Run along now, […] Continue Reading…
CorrectionAccording to a Mr. John Hawkins, “Women on the whole are less interested in politics than men, therefore less [sic] women create blogs, thus the female talent pool in the blogosphere is smaller than the male pool, which leads to the dearth of ‘A-List’ female bloggers.”Mr. Hawkins is wrong.Let […] Continue Reading…
Conversations with Men and a Woman(or, Why Yvonne Is Awesome)1) conversation with a boyfriendJane: So Bernice at my work keeps making these catty, judgmental, passive-aggressive comments at me every day, right? Like, she’s all, “Uh, I see somebody’s sweater sure is tight today” and “Yeah, Jane sure do flirt […] Continue Reading…
Some of My Fantasies1. Every time I eat a donut, I lose one pound (net weight).2. I’m a rock star, but only in Japan. I tour Japan once a year or so. I start fashion trends. I let handsome Japanese movie stars accompany me to local hotspots. My songs […] Continue Reading…
Open CallIf you’d like me to send you one of the cutest kitten pictures I’ve ever seen, either email me or comment with your email address.(It’s too big for me to post here, but too cute to downsize.)
To the Woman Looking at the Bridal Registry Machine at Target on San Felipe, Last Saturday at around 8:30 PMWhen I was done with my shopping, I was so thirsty that my throat hurt. I didn’t want to go back into the Target just to buy a bottle of […] Continue Reading…
