One of the Reasons Not to Get Married
Because, after you get divorced, no matter how many times you take your ex-husband to court and have a judge threaten to throw him in jail, he still won’t pay his child support. I swear, he totally won’t. A month after you take him to court for the last time and make him swear, on threat of going to jail, that he’ll start paying again, now that he’s convinced everyone to lower his payments by 40%, he’ll get a new job that pays way more than yours. Then, he’ll buy himself a boat (another one, I mean, to replace the one he sold so that he’d look poor). Then he’ll buy one of your kids another freaking sword.
Then, within two months of swearing to God to pay his newly decreased amount of child support, two days after the latest payment is due, he’ll call you and tell you that he “accidentally” mailed his child support money order to the cable company, and now he has to wait for them to mail it back before he can send it to the Attorney General’s office. And it should take about two weeks for that to happen.
The Special Bonus Annoyance will be when he points out that he’s sending the money “for the kids” and “not for u.” Of course. Because, God knows you’re just waiting on that pitiful amount of money so that you can spend it on yourself, as opposed to spending it on the new school clothes in which you send your children to his house, so that he can remove them and then send your children back to you in stained hand-me-downs that belong to their cousins.
So, there you go. Reason #1,273 not to get married. You’re welcome. And for more information, check with Queen of the Harpies.
At the Movies
Red Eye was good. You should go see it. It contained a scene that made the audience clap, which is something I haven’t seen in recent memory. The audience clapping in the middle of the movie, I mean. It was simple, but good. Old school excitement.
I was very, very disappointed by the trailer for Aeon Flux. First of all, I’d been disappointed by the choice of Charlize Theron from the beginning. Aeon needed to be played by someone more angular, who looked better with black hair.
The scenery and some of the characters looked cheesy. The music was lame. Aeon’s hair is so incredibly, distractingly lame. The trailer had the aura of a shitty, early eighties sci-fi made-for-TV thing. I was sad.
In the lobby of the theater, I was asked by young surveyors to give my opinions on another movie preview. As the woman flipped through her screens, I saw that they had the trailer for Harry Potter Goblet of Fire. I asked if I could see that one but, unfortunately, she had been commanded to show me Chicken Little instead.
Suffice it to say that I hadn’t ever planned to watch Chicken Little to begin with. Now that I’ve seen the trailer, which features a fat chicken attacking a vending machine and The Who’s “Won’t Get Fooled Again”? I’m marking the opening date on my calendar so that I can make sure to stay away from the theater on that day.
