At the Movies
I love to go to the movies. One of our family traditions (family, in this case, equalling me, my kids and my cousin Randy) is to quietly heckle the commercials and lamer previews. Even if we’ve seen the same set of commercials and previews multiple times. Especially then, actually.
My current most hated preview is the one for Christmas with the Finks or whatever it’s called, with Tim Tool-Show Guy and Jamie Lee Curtis playing a couple who decides not to celebrate Christmas one year. This was based on a book by John Grisham, weirdly. Every time I see this preview, I watch Tim Whatever hugging the pretty young thing who plays his daughter, and I feel sorry for her. Then, I watch Dan Akroyd in his funky tweed jacket with his little bald spot and I imagine that he hates Bill Murray’s guts now.
This last time, I watched, for the zillionth time, Jamie Lee falling down and Tim Whatever spilling food from his mouth and freezing the family cat with a water hose. I turned to my cousin Randy and said, “Who the hell would think this is funny?”
Right on cue, the two women sitting in front of us laughed like maniacs.
At first I wanted to make fun of them, but then I felt sad, instead. Maybe they were depressed. Sometimes, when something traumatizingly sad happens to me, I watch stupid movies and laugh. I think it’s some sort of mental defense mechanism. I hope those two women get over their tragic circumstances as quickly as possible.
The other preview I can’t stand is the one for the new animated film in which a special Christmas train picks up a little Santa-doubting boy in the middle of the night. “This one’s only for middle-class white people,” I whispered to my cousin.
Or maybe I just have issues with Christmas. Or with people who can afford to make their kids believe in Santa Claus. Or with people who can afford to avoid Christmas in favor of taking a cruise. Or with Christmas movies being promoted in July.
I won’t write separate blog entries for each summer movie I’ve seen. I’ll just make a quick list here:
Spider-Man 2: freaking awesome
Dodgeball: dumb but funny
King Arthur: actually kind of awesome
The Terminal: started cute but got too smarmy and unbelievable 2/3s of the way through
Harry Potter number 3: enjoyable but no Spider-Man 2
I, Robot pre-assessment: I will not support that which is making Isaac Asimov roll in his grave.
