Kill Bill 2 sucked.
I won’t post spoilers. I’ll just post thoughts I had throughout the movie:
- “Hmm. Uma Thurman isn’t very convincing here. Well, this is just the beginning – maybe it’ll get better.”
- “Jesus, I have to pee. What the hell – I can tell this dialogue’s gonna go on forever. I’ll just run out and run right back.”
- “Okay… it’s gotta get interesting very soon now…”
- “Am I supposed to feel sorry for this person? Because I don’t.”
- “Turn the freaking Western guitar down. We get it. God.”
- “Yeah, right… he must be really good in bed.”
- “What? Is she supposed to be a bad-ass, or a whiny little girly girl with yellow hair that all the nasty old men love?”
- “Okay… Jesus. Enough with the mutilation of the pretty parts. Just host a freaking bukkake, why don’t you? I thought Quentin Tarantino liked her.”
- “Ha, ha. Loud martial-arts-movie music. Funny.”
- “Darryl Hannah is so much more bad-ass than The Bride.”
- “Jesus. I’m going to pee again. Hopefully all these characters will be dead when I get back.”
- “Damn. They’re still alive, and they’re still saying the most insipid things in the world.”
- “Hello, Cain? You’re white.”
- “WHO CARES? Jesus. I wish the little Japanese girl would come out of the ground right now.”
- “Oh, look. A mutilated pretty woman. What is this, a freaking snuff film?”
- “It’s a good thing they keep reminding me that she’s pretty, because it’s hard for me to tell just by looking at her.”
- “Okay… so it’s okay for Uma Thurman to do certain things, but when it gets done to her, we’re supposed to get upset?”
- “This is like when you’re at a party with a bunch of childless people saying ignorant things about parenthood, except way worse because the people at the party don’t have millions of dollars with which to make inane, overrated films.”
- “Why do critics kiss Tarantino’s ass? Yeah, Pulp Fiction ruled, but the Emperor has since removed his fucking clothes. Jesus.”
- “PLEASE JUST DIE, ALL OF YOU. I no longer care what happens to any of you. Please, let this movie end so I can leave.”
Okay, that’s about it. I saw a bunch of friends afterwards and they asked me how it was. They didn’t want to hear me telling them it sucked. I told them to go see it, anyway, so they could find out how much it sucked for themselves. Some things you just have to find out on your own.
