Why is there no Friday Five this week?
There’s only one thing to do, and that is to make up my own questions and ask them to myself.
1. If you had to pick a celebrity to sleep with this very afternoon, who would you pick?
Oh, my gosh! This is such a shocking question! Okay… I guess I pick Cillian Murphy.
2. If you could have one super power, what would it be?
Um… Oh, I know. I would have the power to change rude or evil people into really good human beings. When someone’s rude, I’d point at them and a loud zapping sound and flashing light would emit from my finger. The rude/evil person would be afraid, expecting to receive a possibly well-deserved portion of pain. Instead, he/she would experience nothing but the karma-cleansing power of a decent, considerate personality.
If that’s not possible, my second choice of super powers is the ability to change bad drivers to good drivers.
If that’s not possible, I just want to know where everything in the world is so that I can sell my lost-n-found services from a small shop on Westheimer.
3. Name five of the Murphy’s-esque laws of your workplace.
a. On the days that people buy meals for my department, I will be absent.
b. Just when I’ve almost finished checking all the policies, forty new policies will appear in the mail.
c. If someone’s wearing too much cologne and has his choice of elevators, he will choose the one I’m in.
d. If I sit at my desk, I’ll wish I were at home, instead.
e. If the toilet seat has no droplets necessitating pre-seating wiping, then I will find out upon sitting on it that the whole thing has been freshly wiped by the custodian – with a wet rag.
4. Will you be suffering a great loss anytime in the near future and, if so, what will it be?
My boyfriend Tad is moving away for a year to further his career. Tonight’s our last night together. There’s nothing special enough I can do – nothing good enough to watch on TV – to form a suitable finale to the eleven months of good times this man has given to me.
Also, I don’t have anyone who can baby sit my kids.
I’ll try not to cry, but I can’t promise it’ll work.
Maybe we’ll order pizza.
5. What is your favorite color?
Red.
