watch this space
I will blog again (cohesively, to a serious extent) when this chair doesn’t hurt my ass. This chair will stop hurting my ass when I lie on my bed for a while to take a rest from sitting in a chair just like this at my work all day today.
thwarted
I kept meaning to post “I hate cars with [x] on them.” For several days, it seemed really important that I let y’all in on that opinion. Then I saw that one of my acquaintances drives such a car. So now I’m not going to say anything about it.
I have a knack for saying “I hate [x]” and hurting people’s feelings. At my first baby shower, I said, “I hate Mickey Mouse” right before I unwrapped someone’s gift of a Baby Mickey Mouse blanket. I played it off by saying, “Oh, but I don’t hate Baby Mickey Mouse!” I’m not sure she was fooled.
At my next baby shower, I told that sad Mickey Mouse story to everyone. Then I unwrapped the Minnie Mouse shoes my aunt had bought me. “Oh, but I don’t hate Minnie Mou-” I said.
“Shut up, you elitist bitch,” said my aunt.
reservoir clogs
The holes where my wisdom teeth used to be would be really cool if I were a squirrel, because then I could keep nuts in them. (Or, at least, nut pulp.) Since I’m not a squirrel, it’s not so cool to find that the holes in my mouth sometimes retain lettuce. For quite a while.
don’t forget
I love you all. Even the stupid, mean ones among you. Just not as much. But still.
