Just another manic friday/ wish it was – oh, wait. It’s Friday. Hell, yeah.
This morning my alarm clock went off at 5:30 and I wrenched myself out of bed. I turned on all the lights in the apartment, turned on the heater and then my radio, all in order to keep myself from going back to sleep. Then, I went back to sleep.
I dreamed that I was getting ready for work but I kept having to change my clothes because all my outfits were too sexy. I almost stuck with the see-through red sweater (I’d neglected to put on a bra,) thinking, “Well, Jay-Z will want me to audition for his video, but I’ll just say no.” But then, worried about possible acquaintance rape, I changed to a frumpy, wrinked blouse instead. (Kind of like what I’m wearing at work right now.)
Before leaving, I ran to grab a snack. There were Carbo-lite candies everywhere, shining like jewels. I couldn’t take just one. I picked up chocolate, apple, pineapple and shrimp flavored candies and piled them into my purse.
Then an annoying Outkast song came on the radio and I woke up for real. I had to put on a shirt that’s too tight around the bust. Then I put on plastic boots. I ran around herding the children into readiness, made their lunches, shoved an Atkins Creamy Cinnamon Bun flavored breakfast bar into my purse. (I never buy Carbo-lite.) Then we all packed into the car and peeled out to the strains of Weezer. We weren’t even late. I felt good.
