mystery illness
And now my guts hurt. Bad enough that I missed two days of work in a row. But I can’t see the doctor til Monday afternoon.
It feels kind of like one of my intestines came loose. Or like one of them is going to explode. I don’t yet know if it’s gallbladder or kidney related, but I get the feeling it’s neither.
My theory is that it has to do with some other torso organ. My theory goes on to state that I will have something wrong with a new torso organ every three months. When the last organ in my torso has failed, I will be rich and famous.
Why? Because everything has its price.
Let’s change the subject now.
sex hair
Have you ever noticed how, after engaging in romantic relations, your hair will obtain a very, very attractive style that you never could have acheived by normal, non-sexual means?
Yes, I’ve noticed that, too.
rip off alert
Don’t buy Klondike low-carb fudge bars. They cost a lot, first of all. $5.50 for 6 bars. Second, they totally mislead you with the picture on the box. The box shows big, Eskimo-pie-looking frozen treats. What you really get is skinny sticks that kind of look like Fudgsicles, but taste like Fudgsicles made with Sweet ‘n’ Low and whipped with air. Bleh. Rip off. Knew I should have bought the Blue Bunny ones instead.
mostly I just slept today
I had a lot of stupid dreams — same kinds as always, but more of them since I slept til noon.
Hopefully that’ll make it easier to get up and go to work tomorrow. I’ll take Tylenol for my swollen, churning guts, but hopefully I can avoid the usual wooziness from unfinished dreams.
I hope I don’t dream about my stomach exploding again. That one wasn’t good. The one about trying to find my classroom was okay. I swear — I get closer to finding that goddamned room every time. This time I’ll run faster so I can get to it before the alarm goes off. I’m gonna burst into the classroom and scream, “Here I am! I made it! I made it, you bastards!!!”
Then the teacher’s gonna say, “Okay. Did you bring your homework?”
Then, if I’m lucky, the alarm will go off.
