please light candles now
Everyone pray that I can get a new car next weekend, okay? Pray for them to overlook my bad post-divorce credit. Pray for my potentially large downpayment to appease the dealer finance gods and get me out of there with something less than 29% interest. Pray that a beautiful clean pretty larger efficient happy car is waiting there for me under these conditions. Remind me to call my publisher and ask them if I can go over there and just pick up my advance check now.
oh, yeah – my book
If you are on my notify list, then you already know that I just signed my first book deal and that my first book (collection of short stories and creative non-fic) will be out hopefully within the year.
If you are not on my notify list, you’re probably thinking, “What the hell? Who gave this chick a book deal? I thought this site was supposed to be funny. Am I missing the funny parts? Do I have to scroll down?”
If you’re not on the notify list because the constant drama and fawning frightens you but you do want to get whatever PR stuff my publisher sends out about my book when the time comes, feel free to email me your snail-mail address so I can put it on the Special Book Mailing List.
Dude… can you believe they gave me a book deal? Well, yeah… I can, too. I mean, if you’ve read this site for a while, you know I took all the book-worthy stuff down a little while back, and now you know why. (But I swear the book has a ton of stuff you’ve never read before.) If you’re new to the site then you should just buy my book when it comes out. Come on. Just buy it. Come on. It’ll be cool. It’s good. You’ll like it. No, for real. You will. It’s all about you, actually. I changed your name, of course, but you’ll know. You’ll be able to tell. Just buy it and find out.
linksville
Ha, ha, ha, Mike is so funny today.
retail secret
Did You Know? Size 16W at Lane Bryant and other plus-size stores is the same as size 18 at Old Navy. You didn’t know? Now you know! I found out for you! Come back next time when I tell you what the hell you’re supposed to be able to wear when you finally get down to where size 14W is starting to get a little baggy on you, but none of the size 14s fit, and most of the stores don’t sell higher than that. We’ll embark on that quest for knowledge together, okay?
