Days of Our NPR

I’m all wrapped up in the Pakistan drama as it’s revealed to me each morning by NPR. This morning I made my boyfriend listen to it, and then we found out details that compelled me to look up these people’s photographs online today. Because I’m a visual learner, and I need to see names spelled in order to remember them. Photos of their faces seal the deal.

President Gen. Pervez Musharraf is the current leader of Pakistan. George Bush & Co. have been sending him money to “help fight terror” or whatever. But Musharraf’s term is about to end, and he’s not eligible to run again. So guess what he did. He declared a state of emergency, put on his military uniform, and sent out soldiers to deal with the lawyers who immediately started protesting this BS.

Benizar Bhutto is Pakistan’s former prime minister, and she’s been calling for Musharraf to leave office. So he put her under house arrest. But she didn’t stop talking. She just called a press conference from inside her house.

Imran Khan is the cricketeer-turned-politician who’s trying to incite university protest, if he could only keep rival groups from kidnapping him before he even takes the mic.

Jemima Goldsmith is Imran Khan’s British billionaire heiress ex-wife. That has nothing to do with what’s happening in Pakistan, of course. But it’s brilliant backstory, isn’t it?

How long before this becomes a movie, or a miniseries at the very least?

I’m also following the French public-transit-worker strike, but haven’t yet felt the need to do Google image search on that one.

Speaking of NPR and Sexiness

What is with people fantasizing about the voices on NPR? I read a piece on Nerve about Sarah Hepola getting off Ira Glass’s voice, and now Salon or someone has voted him “sexiest man living” (as if that’s not Clive Owen–please), and then of course Gawker got hold of that… and every time I read a post about this, everyone and their dog is chiming in with comments about which NPR peep they’d like to do.

And that is so bizarre to me. I mean, I’m not judging. I think it’s totally cool to fantasize about the NPR people, if that’s what works for you. Obviously, I enjoy reading people’s comments about it. But I never, ever, ever thought of any of them in that way. Here are the three most personal thoughts I’ve ever had about NPR people:

1. “Renee Montagne sounds like she doesn’t take crap from anybody. She seems kind of awesome.”
2. “I guess it would be kind of cool to have Carl Kassell do my voicemail greeting.”
3. “Why does the local weather guy on our NPR station have to say his name like that? So annoying.”

And that’s it. Their voices sound like newspeople voices to me. But other people are like, “Steve Inskeep sounds like he’d be considerate yet dirty in bed,” or “Mee-chelle Norris is probably the best dominatrix ever. She sounds like a size 4, but with good stiletto feet and a light sprinking of freckles.” And I’m like, “What? What the? Where are y’all getting this from?”

Please feel free to share your NPR sex fantasies in the comments, though. Please don’t let me stop y’all from doing that.

I want to cut my hair.

I’m saying this now so that, when my boyfriend reads it four days from now, it can help break the news to him gently.

I kind of want to cut my hair. My hair’s all long with layers now — same cut I had when I was 15, and again when I was 22, and now I’m 35 and I think that’s a little too old for this hair.

You know? I feel like I’m trying to be in a metal rock video, and those aren’t even on MTV anymore. You know what I’m saying? I want a more coifed sort of thing, yet still leave it long or medium length. But I know my boyfriend will cry if I cut it. He won’t cry where I can see him. No, he’ll keep it secret, like a man. But still.

Last time I was this size, I had *really* short hair and it looked pretty decent, I thought. And I don’t even want to go that short now. So I think it should be okay. I think it’s safe for me to purchase a Hairstyle Guide magazine…

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Posted in fantasies, politics, vanity on 11/16/2007 05:55 pm

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