Multiple Choice
1. How do you decide what colors to paint your new house?
a. You walk into the house and let it speak to you, like a canvas would.
b. You drive to Home Depot and tell the man the names of the colors you’ve had planned since you were twelve years old.
c. You don’t. It’s already painted blue and beige, with matching floral borders and plaid valances.
2. What are contractors, inspectors, and termite men asking when they ask you if you’re married?
a. They’re asking if there’ll be a man around to help you maintain the work they do.
b. They’re asking if they can get away with overcharging you.
c. They’re asking you for a date.
3. In what kind of lesbianism do you prefer to engage?
a. Heartfelt relationships in the privacy of my own home.
b. If a hot friend at a club offers me lesbian make-out sessions, I’ll briefly indulge, just like others might accept a drink or a hit from a marijuana pipe.
c. I like to kiss girls in public because it makes boys look at me.
4. What is your newest, favoritest song?
a. “Waiting For The Sirens’ Call (Planet Funk Remix)” on Ultra Electro Disc 1.
b. “Easy” on Ultra Electro Disc 2.
c. I can’t discuss these matters until after I buy decent speakers for my car.
5. What is most likely to keep a friend from being invited to one of your soirees?
a. Poor sense of humor.
b. Incompatible age.
c. Uncontrollable public horniness.
6. What is easier to do than revise your upcoming novel in time for your editor’s deadline?
a. Write multiple-choice questions for my blog.
b. Write poems for an possible chapbook.
c. Do insurance work.
7. What are the subjects of the poems you’re writing for your upcoming chapbook?
a. My coworkers and their bathroom habits.
b. The belated, beloved Mr. Rogers.
c. Love.
Eyes on your own papers. No need to post your answers in the comments, as we’ll be grading our own work.
