No, I’m Not Pregnant, But…
Here are the foods I’ve craved today, in chronological order:
1. coconut
2. peanut M&Ms
3. tamales or some other starchy Mexican food
There’s This Lady
who parks in my job’s parking garage, and I don’t know her, but I kind of admire her a lot. Why? Because her car is FULL of knitting and yarn. She has not only bags of yarn that she’s purchased in the back and front seats, but also big plastic tubs of knitting. One time, finally, I saw her sitting in her car before work one morning, knitting her brains out just a little before it was time to go in. I put a friendly smile on my face, just in case she’d want to roll down her window so I could ask to see what she was doing. But when she looked up and caught my eye, she gave me a scowl and then I stumbled on the cement. So I quit smiling at her and went on in to work. I imagine this woman is childless and unmarried. But if she does have a family at home, that doesn’t make it any less bad-ass that she has a car chock full of knitting and yarn. Artistic obsessions are good, in my opinion.
I Feel Very Hateful Lately
And I won’t go into details on it right now. But I think it’s something about the spring… the post-Ides of March, maybe. Suffice it to say that, while I love the flowers and the sun and Easter eggs and things, I simultaneously feel that 90% of the people around me are either rude, stupid, evil, or most likely a combination of those things. I think this happened to me last year, too. Maybe Mercury goes into retrograde every spring. Or maybe I need to get the hell out of Houston. Or maybe I’m a rude, stupid, evil person with inverted Seasonal Affective Disorder. Or maybe it’s just that I have writers’ block. Or maybe it’s just that I’m gradually accepting reality. Or maybe I just need more exercise. Yeah – I think that might be the one.
If You Live in America
you should be glad. You know why? Because there’s a lot of free food floating around this country. Even if you’re homeless. Look at all the homeless people on the streets – they’re pretty chunky. They get free donuts if they wait by the convenience stores at night. It’s hard to go hungry in America, even if you’re poor. I’ve noticed that. Also, I’ve noticed that other countries don’t seem to have it the same way. So, if you’re in America and you’re enjoying free food today, be glad. Stuff your hungry face and be happy.
