Lunch with Brie
Things Brie and I discussed while eating sandwiches at Einstein Brothers’ Bagels today:
1. The Carmex Conspiracy.
2. My pet theory that certain carpeting stores on Westheimer are Mafia fronts.
3. My related pet theory that all the expensive antiques stores in Houston are simply tax write-offs for rich people who enjoy antiquing on other continents.
4. Brie’s suspicion that a local Persian rug store is shady.
5. The local Jewish Mafia and the probability that it has a smaller advertising budget than other local Mafias of various ethnicities.
6. The fact that I never knew her husband had a day job, because he never talks about his day job… and then the related fact that artists, writers, and musicians seldom discuss their day jobs. Even if they waste most of their lives at them. Even if they get promoted to supervisory positions that require the wearing of logo’ed golf shirts. Even if they’re allowed to bring home awesome logo’ed keychain lights.
7. Various insane people.
8. My fear that my boyfriend is considering breaking up with me because of the noisy newborn baby at my new apartment complex.
9. My friend Letty’s recent e-manifesto on why she isn’t trading Christmas gifts this year, and the fact the White Elephants are the way to go.
10. The fact that vodka is so 2005, and there’s nothing wrong with me switching over to rum, even if I’m unable to stop myself from drinking Captain Morgan like some kind of frat boy. Also, Brie’s tips on mixing Bacardi Coco with Coke, orange juice, and pineapple juice, respectively. Also, my pledge not only to bring back Captain Morgan in my life, but to go super retro and mix it with, say, hot Dr. Pepper with lemon. Also, my plans to grow mint on my patio and then use said mint to make fresh, homemade mojitos – with Splenda instead of sugar. Also, Brie’s hope that my eventual patio container garden will be one she can copy, and my assurance that it won’t be, as it will only be a jumble of mint and plants I got on clearance.
I love to have lunch with Brie.
