Twenty Questions
Got this meme from Nyarly.
1. Tell me something obvious about you.
I speak my mind and have no qualms about using bad words to do it.
2. Tell me something about you that many don’t know.
I have a gold molar.
3. What is your biggest fear?
I’m so afraid of crime – especially crime against my family – that I can barely talk about it. Mostly of someone breaking into my apartment and the like.
4. Do you normally go the safe route or take the short cut?
Metaphorically, I’m not sure what this means. Literally, I am known for trying to take an alternate route in order to avoid traffic and then making the trip take twice as long.
5. Name one thing you want that you can’t buy with money.
I wish I could dance really well. The first answer that came to mind was security, but you can probably buy that.
6. What is your most treasured possession?
Hmm. I have a lot of little things that I like, but no one thing that I treasure. I guess I have to say my car, although I don’t take care of it like most people would take care of a treasured possession. Or maybe the answer is whatever lipgloss I’m using for that week.
7. What is the one thing you hate most about yourself that you do often?
I hate that I still, after all this time, let stupid people’s negative opinions or rudeness bother me.
8. What is your favorite lie to tell?
I don’t lie. But I will exaggerate in order to make a story funny. I do it often and without shame, but I don’t feel like it’s “lying” because, 99% of the time, everyone can tell that I’m exaggerating and they laugh. Once or twice, though, I’ve been telling a funny story about someone and they’ve said, “That’s a lie! I didn’t say that!”
I mean, like, I’ll say, “Yeah, the cop was all, ‘Do you know how fast you were going?’ and Maria told him, ‘Yeah, motherfucker, I know,’ and then she stubbed out her cigarette on his arm and told him, ‘Go fix me chicken pot pie!'”
And everybody will laugh, not because they think violence against cops is funny, but because they know Maria’s an outspoken person with limited patience for male authority figures. And they’ll like the idea of Maria doing such a thing. It’s funny.
But then Maria will get all serious as a heart attack and tears will form in her eyes as she says, “That’s a lie! I did not say that to the cop!”
And I’ll say, “Maria, I was just kidding. Come on.” And she’ll say, “But I would never commit violence against another human being like that. Assault is not funny, Gwen. Please don’t make jokes about me and violent assault.” Or something.
And that happens very infrequently, but when it has happened, it’s made me feel like a horrible person who lies for pleasure at the expense of others. Even though I never really lie about anything.
9. Name something you’ve done once that you can’t wait to do again.
Maybe tubing at New Braunfels, even though I’m kind of scared about it at the same time.
10. Are you the jealous type?
Yes. At first, when I really start to like a man with whom I’m in a relationship, I’ll get pretty jealous/possessive. Then, after a while, I realize that every woman in America is not plotting to seduce my particular man, and I get over it.
11. What is the one person, place or thing you can’t say no to?
My youngest son, unfortunately. All he has to do is cry and I’ll give him what he wants, even at the expense of his brothers’ wants. And he knows this now, and he uses it to his advantage when it comes to sharing the Playstation 2. The baby always gets spoiled. Mothers can’t resist the crying of the baby.
12. What is the nicest thing someone has ever done for you?
God. Zillions of things. Once a mentor took me to New York for a long weekend and hooked me up with interviews at various schools. That was pretty nice.
13. If you could do something crazy right now, what would it be?
Quit my job and freelance.
14. When was the last time you cried?
Last night, just a little bit, at some dumb tear-jerky movie trailer.
15. When was the last time you felt so good that nothing else mattered?
Yesterday, walking in the parking lot of Kroger’s with my boyfriend holding my hand. We were running some quick errands before a reading I had to do. I was glad that he was with me, helping me. I’m always calmer and more optimistic when he’s around. I like it when we’re together doing mundane things.
16. Do you feel comfortable in public with no shirt on?
Um. No. I guess this survey was written for a man?
17. Name something embarrassing you did while drunk.
I asked someone, “So did y’all have sex?” in front of everybody. I didn’t even feel embarrassed about it, myself, but later someone told me that I’d really offended the woman I asked. Personally, I think that if you’re gonna make out with someone in public, in a club, that you can handle a little personal question about your romantic success. But I felt bad that I made her feel bad, so I was eventually embarrassed.
18. Name one person, past or present, with whom you’d like to spend the day.
These questions are always silly to me because you really have no way of knowing if celebrities are going to be fun to hang around with or not. I’m just going to say my boyfriend, because we never do get to spend a whole day together anymore. Our work schedules oppose each others’, and on his day off, I usually have to drive to Austin to get my kids. Like I’m going to do today, actually.
19. Name one place you’ve never been and would like to go, and tell me why.
I want to go to Tokyo to see the vending machine and Sanrio World and the people and their stores and everything.
20. What’s the story behind your online persona/name?
My real name is Gwendolyn Zepeda. But everybody calls me Gwen.
