I Can Shoot Fire From My Eyes
Wanna see me do it? It only happens if I’m very hungry or if my plans have been ruined. If you want to make me extemely upset, first tell me we’re having lunch early. Then, at the last minute, tell me we’re having lunch late. I’ll be a little upset, but still willing to wait. As I wait, I’ll get hungrier. My blood sugar will fall. My temperature will rise. Then comes your coup de grace. Yes. That’s when you call – it’s about 1 or 2 PM by now – and say, “Sorry – I can’t have lunch with you after all.”
I will become so very upset. I’ll call you inconsiderate. I’ll bitterly fantasize aloud about the food I would have brought from home if I’d known you were going to flake on me. I’ll plot your murder.
But, then, at the last minute, I’ll run down to the cafeteria and get something to eat. After I eat it, I’ll be fine.
I like it when women get angry in pop culture. We hardly ever see it, you know? I think that’s why I love movies like Charlie’s Angels and Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon – because I get to see women being violent and it’s NOT because they’re crazy in love. That’s why I love Liz Phair. Her old stuff, I mean. And PJ Harvey.
Women get angry all the time, in real life. But people want us to hide it. I want to see it. Feel it. Share it. I’m tired of seeing TV/movie women cry and whine. That’s why the Kill Bill movies mainly sucked. Too much whiny Uma.
I always say I’m going to get mad enough to throw my phone at the wall and break it some day. But, no – phones cost money.
I’ll be glad when I’m rich enough to throw all kinds of things. Right now, instead, I just yell and write in this blog.
Here’s an angry woman:
“Last night my fiancé and I had a three-hour fight over the phone. It was probably better that he was out of town because the fight would have gotten a lot nastier had it happened in person.”
And this is her wedding blog. Awesome.
