made-up conversation 1
“I discovered a new song on DDR.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. At first I thought it sucked because the sample wasn’t good. It just went ‘Dream a dream, duh-duh duh-duh-duh-duh, blah, blah.'”
“Uh huh.”
“But then I played the whole thing, and I’ve actually heard it before. It’s more like rap, and it has this fake spooky-music part that goes ‘Doo-doo doo-too doo-too-too, doo-too-too…'”
“Oh, my god. I hate that song.”
“You do?”
“God, yes. That’s one of those songs where, like, I’m in my car and I accidentally start listening to 104 broadcasting live from the Roxie or some shit, and they start playing that song and I’m like, ‘This is horrible. Why do they play this shit? Christ.‘”
“Hee, hee, hee.”
“God. That song is so fucking awful.”
“You’re funny, baby.”
“It’s just horrible. If I were in a club and they started playing that shit, I’d be like, ‘Why are they playing this?’ Then I’d leave.”
“You know what it reminds me of a little bit? That Rockwell song – you know – ‘I always feel like, somebody’s watching me-ee…'”
“Baby, please don’t say that. Rockwell rules.”
made-up conversation 2
“Did you see my link to that Stevie Nicks thing?”
“Yes. That fucking ruled. I cracked up. It was like, what? She doesn’t do Mick Fleetwood or Lindsey Buckingham and Christine McVie?”
“I know, right?”
“You know what I’d if I were rich? I’d order all these drawings from her… like of me, you, my friends, some animals I found…”
“Oh, my god. I swear to god, I was just saying to somebody that if I got rich, I’d order a bunch of portraits of me and you and my kids and cats and lizards and shit… I’d go out and photograph homeless people and get portraits of them with her…”
“Ha, ha! That’s awesome, baby.”
“And I would totally get one of me between Stevie Nicks and Paul Stanley.”
“I know! Damn, that one was awesome. You know what I’d do? I’d get all my portraits done, and then I’d call them all serious and be like, ‘Can you please do another one of me and Stevie, but with me banging her from behind this time?'”
“HA! I can just see that. Oh, god. This is why we love each other, baby.”
“I know, pookie.”
“I miss you, love pumpkin.”
“I miss you too, baby snacks.”
