a disconcerting change of opinion
I used to be a cat person. I’m not saying that I’ve become a dog person since then, but lately I’ve been thinking about dogs more than cats, and it scares me.
My reasoning in the past:
1. Dogs eat feces.
2. Cats only lick their own butts.
3. Dogs defecate all over the place.
4. Cats bury their poop.
5. Dogs sniff at people’s crotches.
6. Cats don’t.
7. Dogs bite.
8. Cats only bite or scratch if you mess with them and they’re easier to fend off.
9. Cats are soft and don’t slobber.
10. Dogs are not always soft but usually do slobber.
Today I went to the calendar store in the mall with my boyfriend Tad and we looked at all the dog calendars. We’d been talking about pets the other day. I don’t have any right now and neither does Tad, but he said if he had to get a pet, he’d probably get a teacup chihuahua. (AKA, the chihuahua.)
I said that I’d get a cat, because I’ve always liked cats, but that if I had to get a dog, I’d get a Siberian Husky, or something similarly big and protective-seeming with triangular ears.
Then today we went to the calendar store and looked at all the dog calendars. The pugs were the absolute cutest. I love their cocked heads and wall-eyed faces. After perusing most of the dogs’ pictures, I said, “And now we have to look at the cat calendars.” And we did. And I realized that dogs look happy and cats don’t.
When I was a housewife living in the middle of nowhere, I was forced to be an introvert in order to keep from going insane. (The only people to talk to, in my particular circumstances, were conservative kuntry folk or religious fanatics.) I think it made sense for me to prefer cats then. If I had walked a dog, idiots would have spoken to me.
Now that I’m single and I run my own life and I live in an exciting city, I have reverted to my natural personality. Also, I’ve had several years to get over trauma caused by dog near-bites and dog-eating-cow-poop-related post traumatic stess disorders.
Now, when I talk to my kids about the magical future in which we might have our own house and then get ourselves a pet, I might just say “cat or maybe dog” instead of just “cat”.
Stranger things have happened.
