I am becoming an insurance nerd.
Don’t ask me why, don’t ask me how, but the ancient prophecy is finally coming to fruition. Deep within the bowels of my soul, a hunger has been awakened. A thirst to answer that primal question:
Does this policy cover third party liability?
Tad = Best Boyfriend Ever
Tad is the boyfriend Fate has been saving for me. He’s the reward at the end of a long, hard trail of jerks.
If you want to have a good boyfriend, my suggestion to you is that you go after that one guy who’s always listening to his beautiful female friends complain about their boyfriends being jerks. The guy who just listens to them whine instead of taking advantage of them by being their jerky boyfriend. Hunt that guy down and rip him away from those beautiful girls. Steal him away and savagely make him your own.
Just kidding.
Tad has a bubble butt.
Just kidding.
No, I’m not. Don’t be jealous, okay?
No, seriously.
I’m just kidding. Don’t read anything I said about Tad. Especially if you’re one of his friends. Or — you can read it, but don’t make fun of him later, okay? He doesn’t even know I’m typing this. He’s standing here talking about all the stuff he would have stolen if he’d known he was gonna get laid off.
But he’s just kidding, too.
I’m a criminal.
My new favorite thing to do is graze the bulk food bins at Central Market, which is a fancy grocery store here in Houston.
fantasy job
I really wish I could afford to be one of those people who scours thrift stores in bad neighborhoods for bad-ass vintage clothing and then sells that clothing on eBay. My brother keeps wanting to start up a mini business with me doing just that, but, dude, I have to work full time at my job and then hang out with my kids in the evening and then ignore Tad while working on my web site late at night. But if I were to win the lottery — one of the smallish ones that’s only enough to buy a house and to pay off student loans, not one big enough to actually make you rich — then I would be at Value Village with my brother right now.
good night
Do you ever have those nights where you dream your ass off so long and so hard that, by the time you wake up, you think, “Man, it’s a good thing I’m awake now so I can get some rest”?
Yeah. Me, too.
