Your Sexy Survey IV: Britney vs Xtina
The results are in and a whopping 50.5% of you said you’d pick Britney Spears over Christina Aguilera if you were forced at gunpoint to pick one of the two with whom to engage in sexual activity.
Choice rationalizations follow. (I pick Christina because she’s the better singer.)
Lisa sighs: “I don’t suppose you’d let me pick Shakira instead? Oh fine then, Britney — I still have nightmares about Christina’s outfits during the dark days of the ‘Moulin Rouge’ soundtrack.”
Franks scolds: “Give me Brittany. She’s just a little more wholesome looking, you wouldn’t mind bringing her home to Mom and hey she did that sexy Catholic schoolgirl video thing. Christina just seems to be getting sleazier and sleazier. I expect to see her in a porn flick any day now. I’d feel like I needed to take a shower afterward and make sure all my shots were up to date.”
mandapants pants: “I don’t even need you to hold a gun to my head – it’s Christina Aguilera! Oh that Christina!
That girl is so raunchy and sexy and cocky – how can you not love her? Now, she could tone down the drama when she’s singing but even so, Beautiful is a fantastic song (no matter how much it pains me to admit it). And besides the voice, I love that you could eat her attitude with a fork. I think she’s just the bee’s knees because she thinks she is. No, she KNOWS she’s the bee’s knees and that makes it so.”
Jay O. reasons: “I’ll take Christina Aguliera now that she isn’t orange anymore. But I’d take the gun to my head immediately afterwards, but not before taking out both of them first. For the betterment of society and all.”
Tom B pervs: “Well..it HAS to be Christine of course. She could talk dirty to me in Spanish while we were doing it and there is NOTHING hotter than a chick saying ‘Do me harder’ in another language. (Or even with an accent.)
Hey..you speak Spanish don’t you? Hmm…..”
I do, Tom, but I like my men to understand what I’m saying during our intimate moments. So I make sure to say, “As soon as we’re done, you’re folding the laundry,” in slow, careful English, instead.
hallie picks Britney because: “C.A. would trumpet our lovemaking to everyone in the media to prove that she isn’t a prude. whereas britney would quietly sneak out for a smoke on the balcony, where she’d be instantly mobbed by papparazzi and she would deny everything and insist that she was holding the cigarette for ‘a friend’. meanwhile, i would be able to sneak, unnoticed, out the back basement door.”
Mike quips: “I will have to go with Christina Aguilera, because, in addition to the sex, I can also get off on saying her name when I sneeze. “Ah-guilera!” You know, one of those orgasmic sneezes — unlike the repressed kind of sneeze you would have trying to say, ‘spears!‘ Screw that.”
Jessica M. pity-parties: “Christina Aguilera because I feel sorry for her. Maybe I could help her with a new, less drag queeny/poodle-y look while we’re at it.”
Jasmine explains: “Britney, because Christina is all bones… we don’t like having to shake the sheets to find people…”
Brenda C. says: “I would pick christina. britney is way too wholesome for me. her body is badass but her face is that of a 12 year old. christina looks more like he’s 15 maybe 16…kinda raunchy…she’s all about it. i’d do her if i didn’t have a gun to my head! (but then again, i’m hard up)”
Pinky tops it off with: “I would go with Christina. Because she seems like she has less of a stick up her ass than Britney. Plus – she’s so nasty you know she knows how to have a good time. Britney would probably steal your boyfriend, stretch out your tube top, and leave Fred Durst staggering around your yard, calling out her name.”
Thanks to everyone who participated! Stay tuned for the next one.
